You're Not Alone in Asking: 6 Common Intimate Wellness Questions Women Ask Me As Their Doctor

I have compiled some of the most common women’s sexual health questions after witnessing the frustration of patients dealing with recurrent intimate wellness concerns. Because these conversations happen behind closed doors, creating the misconception that certain experiences are rare or unusual, when in reality, they're shared by countless women. The visible relief that I see in women whom I’ve counseled about common sexual health complaints inspired me to write this article.

This easy-to-read article is organized into a list of 6 common intimate wellness questions that can guide readers from commonly asked questions to common considerations and a how-to guide on prioritizing this concern with your healthcare providers.

1. "Is pain during intercourse normal?"

What You Should Know: Pain is never "just normal aging" despite being common. Potential causes include hormonal fluctuations, pelvic floor dysfunction, endometriosis, or insufficient arousal time.

How to Prioritize: Track when pain occurs, what makes it better/worse, and be specific with your provider about location and severity. Request a pelvic floor assessment if pain persists despite initial treatments.

2. "Why has my sex drive changed?"

What You Should Know: There are many individual and overlapping reasons for a change in desire. Libido naturally fluctuates due to hormones, stress, medications, relationship dynamics, and sleep quality.

How to Prioritize: Before your appointment, note recent life changes, medication adjustments, and stress levels. Ask about comprehensive evaluation and evidence-based approaches for desire enhancement.

3. "Is this vaginal discharge normal?"

What You Should Know: Healthy discharge varies widely in consistency, amount, and color throughout your menstrual cycle.

How to Prioritize: Track discharge changes alongside your cycle, product use, and sexual contact. This can be done using a journal or app. Bring this information to appointments and discuss appropriate testing if accom

panied by itching, odor, pelvic discomfort, or within screening guidelines.

4. "Will I ever feel sensations the same way after childbirth?"

What You Should Know: While changes are common, the body has a remarkable recovery capacity with appropriate support.

How to Prioritize: Don't wait for your six-week checkup if concerns arise, especially in cases of complicated deliveries or those requiring stitches. A proactive request for a pelvic floor physical therapy referral may prevent delayed healing. Women with uncomplicated birthing experiences should still plan to discuss sensation changes openly at postpartum visits.

5. "Is it normal to need lubrication?"

What You Should Know: Lubrication needs vary based on hormonal status, medications, cycle timing, and other physiological factors unrelated to desire or attraction.

How to Prioritize: Discuss lubrication changes with your provider as a medical symptom rather than a personal failing. If dryness is persistent, ask about both over-the-counter options and prescription treatments. If looking for a guide on choosing a lubricant, click here to read our vaginal lubrication guide.

6. "Why don't I ever reach orgasm during intercourse?"

What You Should Know: Most women (about 70%) don't consistently experience orgasm from penetration alone.

How to Prioritize: Request resources on female sexual anatomy and arousal pathways. If persistent concerns exist, ask about referral to a sexual health specialist who can provide personalized guidance. She Comes First & ISSWH are incredible resources for orgasm education and sexual health providers, respectively. We also have an article on this topic that you may find helpful in undertstanding your type of orgasm.

Taking Action on Your Intimate Wellness

1. Prepare for appointments: Write down your questions before visits to keep your thoughts and concerns organized, especially when planning to discuss more sensitive topics.

2. Be specific: Consider the characterization, frequency, & quality of life impact of your symptoms.

3. Seek a second opinion: If your provider dismisses concerns or doesn’t suggest further evaluation beyond what they are able to do, consider consulting another healthcare professional.

4. Request referrals: Ask about pelvic floor physical therapy, sexual health counseling, or specialized sexual dysfunction exams that may be different from routine gynecologic care when appropriate.

5. Remember you're not alone: Sexual health concerns affect most women at some point in their lifetime—there's no reason to suffer in silence.

6. Consider all your resources: In addition to clinical care, reliable educational resources may be the first step in how you identify your intimate wellness concerns. Beyond The Stethoscopes is also a magazine with a sexual wellness issue that helps identify, normalize and guide women through the most common intimate health issues. Click here for your free digital copy.

Your intimate wellness questions aren't just common—they're crucial conversations for your overall health. Breaking the silence matters for your intimate, physical, and emotional wellbeing. Do not delay care even if you are unsure what your treatment options may be. Care and attention to concerns of sexual dysfunction start with an open conversation of how it is impacting you. Take care of your whole self by validating your whole self.